"Fake It Till You Make It"

When I was in sixth grade I wanted to more than anything, AND I MEAN MORE THAN ANYTHING, to make the basketball team at Lauderdale Lakes Middle School! I wanted it sooooooo bad! I went to a predominantly black school, but I didn't realize that then, I was oblivious, it was all I knew.  So... THIS super skinny white chic tried out for the basketball team!!!  (I know... funny right?!:) Ohh...and did I mention that I sucked at basketball? But, I didn't care! In practice I ran longer than anyone, I did more drills than anyone, I practiced whenever and however I could! I was so freaking determined! I remember saying to my mom on the car ride home from practice, "mom they are all bigger and better than me. I don't know what to do". And she said, "Casie, just fake it till you make it". So, I did exactly what my mother told me to do! I watched all the older girls at practice and mimicked them. I wore my socks like them, my hair like them. I practiced dribbling and passing the ball like them. I truly faked it till I made it!

I still remember how it felt to sit on the bleachers and wait as the coaches called out names of the girls who made the team. One by one they got up and stood in line. I seriously had tears in my eyes. I had worked so unbelievably hard! Once the team players were announced and my name was NOT called I thought I was going to cry right there in front of all those tough girls. The coach then announced two alternates...and once again my name was NOT called. I couldn't help but let the tears run down my face, I was devastated! Then...one of the coaches said " I would like to add one more alternate to this team, because she never gave up and that is the kind I attitude I want on this team! Casie would you please stand up!" I almost peed my pants!!! I couldn't believe it!!! Little ol me???? Just thinking about it now brings tears to my eyes.  This is a true fuckin story after all! I learned alot of lessons that day.

I then preceded to bust my ass! I drank, ate and slept basketball. I practiced as much as I could. I wanted to be better. Do better. Not just fake it, but really DO IT! When basketball season started my Coach asked me to her office and then asked me if I wanted to be ON THE TEAM! Hell ya I want to be on the team!!! So, this little ol skinny ass white bitch made Right Guard of the girls basketball team at Lauderdale Lakes Middle School!!!. It truly is one of my finest accomplishments in life. I faked it till I made it, and then once I made it, I added some more hard work and determination and accomplished what I thought was impossible. It's amazing what you can accomplish when you put your mind to it. I even have the year book picture to prove it bitches! (In one of my kajillion boxes in the garage). I then moved to Delray Beach and played basketball for Carver Middle School, but it just wasn't the same. NOBODY at that school wanted to be on the basketball team so I just walked on...I know...BORING!

To this day I still "Fake It Till I Make It". I don't always know what to do or say. I obviously don't always get it right. But, I'm always giving it my sixth grade basketball free throw shot! :-) In the last couple of years I have had alot of "first". And everytime I'm not sure what to do, I really do fake it until it comes naturally. Being a "bonus mom" was one of those experiences. It was awkward and difficult at first. But, I treated those kids as I would have wanted someone to treat my daughter and eventually it became very natural and organic. I love them as my own (awwwww.. :)

So, bitches! Try it and see how it works for you! :)
Peace out.