"Forgive and Forget"

I don't think our journey "here" is ever complete. I believe we are meant to learn and grown until infinity. My separation and eventual divorce along with a miscarriage (boo hoo) really broke me WIDE open. This openness allowed me to be receptive to what I call the Holy Spirit (you may call it something else).....you know.....that little voice that speaks to you all the time.....yeah that one :) That little voice has really taught me alot in the past few years. One of the things it has taught me is to forgive AND forget.

I really try to not talk about my ex-husband here (but I do anyway ;) ...because my life is not about him anymore (yay!). But, I love what his presence in my life has, and continues, to do for me. He of course has no idea!!!!  I've tried to explain to him all the lessons I've learned, but it goes right over his balding head! (haha! Karmas a bitch!) However, his understanding is absolutely NOT required. He has however mentioned the differences he has seen in me (your loss El Douchee :). As I mentioned in a previous blog, I had to learn to forgive myself, which eventually lead to me forgiving my ex (props! thank you Dr. Lisa!).  ALOT of people ask me how I can still be friends with my ex after everything that happened and I tell them that not only have I forgiven him.... but, I have forgotten!!!  I dumped that load of shit and never looked back! I feel that forgetting is just as important as forgiving.

As WE continue on this journey together please try to be gentle, kind and most importantly forgiving....because our time "here" is too short and it passes too quickly for us not to be happy, healthy and bitter-free! Plus,  being happy is the sweetest revenge! :) Trust me on this one.... wink wink...TGIF! It's a beach day bitches! Peace...

"To Trust or Not to Trust. That Is The Question"

When you've been through a traumatic event such as your own, your parents, or a close friends divorce, or even just a difficult relationship and/or break-up in general, I believe (and hear) that trusting again is the most difficult part of it all. I can definitely say that is true for ME! I have moved on in my life with an amazing man who has two amazing kids, but damn it's difficult! I constantly doubt and question...."what if he's not who he says he is? what if I take the leap and there's no safety net? what if it doesn't work out? are the scars too deep to heal? what if this is all some cruel fuckin joke?"

There are NO guarantees in life! It's all a big risk.  My crystal ball is broken and in the shop :). I know I drive my boyfriend coocoo for coco puffs..."where are you?  what are you doing? whose there? is that a woman's voice I hear?" Thank God he's been through what I have been through and he understands a little bit. He cuts me ALOT of slack! He NEVER makes me feel less than...he always answers my game of 50 questions calmly and politely, and then we move on. I've gotten better! Yay! ;) But, I'm a work in progress. I still struggle with to trust or not trust again. But, I have decided that I want my life to have more "Oh wells!" than "What if's". So, I'm taking a BIG leap of faith (oh yeah...faith helps ALOT in all of this :) and I'm trusting again. It's really fuckin hard. I have my moments of doubt. But, thankfully I've found someone worthy......THAT'S ME BITCHES! 
I'm worth it! :) And yes, it does help to have my "heaven sent" boy toy by my side.

Peace out....