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I'm a bad-ass, hard working single mom! I'm also tired, overwhelmed, frustrated and looking for chocolate...all in the same day!

Friday, March 9, 2012

"To Trust or Not to Trust. That Is The Question"

When you've been through a traumatic event such as your own, your parents, or a close friends divorce, or even just a difficult relationship and/or break-up in general, I believe (and hear) that trusting again is the most difficult part of it all. I can definitely say that is true for ME! I have moved on in my life with an amazing man who has two amazing kids, but damn it's difficult! I constantly doubt and question...."what if he's not who he says he is? what if I take the leap and there's no safety net? what if it doesn't work out? are the scars too deep to heal? what if this is all some cruel fuckin joke?"

There are NO guarantees in life! It's all a big risk.  My crystal ball is broken and in the shop :). I know I drive my boyfriend coocoo for coco puffs..."where are you?  what are you doing? whose there? is that a woman's voice I hear?" Thank God he's been through what I have been through and he understands a little bit. He cuts me ALOT of slack! He NEVER makes me feel less than...he always answers my game of 50 questions calmly and politely, and then we move on. I've gotten better! Yay! ;) But, I'm a work in progress. I still struggle with to trust or not trust again. But, I have decided that I want my life to have more "Oh wells!" than "What if's". So, I'm taking a BIG leap of faith (oh yeah...faith helps ALOT in all of this :) and I'm trusting again. It's really fuckin hard. I have my moments of doubt. But, thankfully I've found someone worthy......THAT'S ME BITCHES! 
I'm worth it! :) And yes, it does help to have my "heaven sent" boy toy by my side.


Peace out....

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