I was raised in a very Christian family. I was taught to believe in God and Jesus Christ himself. I attended Church most days, sang in the Choir, went to Church Summer Camp and was the lead in many Church plays (yes me! :) But, I was still always searching for something.
I experimented in high school and college (boy those were the days! hehe :-) But, I still found myself looking for something.
When my ex and I separated my search for something took on a life of its own. I became somewhat obsessed. I read every self-help book I could get my hands on. I went to seminar after seminar. I meditated for minutes on end :), started attending Church again and even got re-baptized! I took medications (legal OF COURSE!: ) and sought professional therapy. But, I still found myself searching. I would journal. I would talk to my mother and friends for hours on end...but nothing seemed to do it. I continued my search.
I wish I could sit here and tell you the exact moment that I found MY SOMETHING! It would make for a better story! Everything I share with you is a true. But, I cant...I believe it was a journey just like most things in life...a gradual process.
Though all my searching I finally found my SOMETHING! Hip Hip Hooray! It was........ ME! Holy shit! Little ol' ME! I learned that all the love, support, security and compassion I was looking for was all in ME! I learned to be my own best friend. To support myself. To love myself. That in those moments of quite I discovered all the answers to my questions. I still relapse and feel that I'm not enough. That I need something, but I have learned to go back to ME! That "God is in Me as ME!" We were made perfect in every way. That to think otherwise is an insult. The Holy Spirit and ME are two peas in a pod...BFF's...I finally found my true and ultimate "till death due us part"...and even after that... :) Peace.
No comments:
Post a Comment